Being in a position of influence demands responsibility as with most privilege. I am reminded of the many times I have guided my children, that privilege is best enjoyed with the understanding and obligation of the responsibility that is associated with it.

In corporate governance, leaders are expected to influence the behaviour of their followers and be in the forefront of change management. However, that is not the focus of my sharing for today.

Have you ever been identified as the kind of actor in an organization that speaks strongly and convincingly on matters to the extent that you are perceived as having an influence on decision making? Further, even in the event that your view represents the minority, you champion your view with the same enthusiastic and persuasive approach and do not shy away from the submission? Is burying your head in the sand not on your list of options if your take on the matter does not carry the day? In all this, has any of these things ever made you feel uncomfortable? Do you resonate with the phrase “I don’t think he/she likes my guts!”?

In my endeavor to address the above questions, I propose to begin by sharing with you what someone once said to me. I was told that there is a reason that people are put in certain positions and if it is a position of influence, what is the point of being in that position if you do not use the influence? It was a rhetorical question but what was different is that I heard someone actually speak to it, without sounding like it was bragging.

The means used to exercise influence is where the art resides. In my view, influence is associated with strength of both character and persuasion. It is a position of privilege in the sense that the position holder is very easily given the podium to “shine” so to speak.

I have observed that there is a need for awareness, empathy and self-monitoring as one delivers their point home. I recall a time after an extremely interactive meeting where the debates became hot at some points, being given the reasons the Chairperson of the meeting was seemingly ignoring my raised hand (which was literally in his face!).

I was told “Don’t get me wrong about my leaving you to comment after everyone else. I did see your raised hand, but I have come to know you as a strong personality whose submissions are fired up, and that is a good thing for the company. However, if you speak first, I am afraid that those who also have good points to raise but do not have your charisma, may decline to speak…and that’s not good for the company. I need to hear as many views as possible so that the meeting can be influenced fairly”. I realized that I needed to employ more than my persuasive skills to be able to constructively influence decisions and perspectives.

That was a moment of profound realization and I am grateful for the opportunity for such a discussion. Later, with exposure to many more meetings and interactions, coupled with my inquisitive reading on organizational behaviour, I was able to identify the aspects of my personality and conduct that needed to be tamed and nurtured. I have had to learn and indeed unlearn certain habits and behaviors. For example, I have had to learn to stretch my levels of patience, especially with respect to my response to a submission that starts off on a tangent with what I think to be correct. I have had to exercise empathy in that I put myself in the position of the other person and ask myself if I would enjoy being stopped in my tracks by someone who believed I was misdirecting myself. I have had to structure my communication of points of departure using unifying language such as thanking my colleague for the submission and pointing out what I agree with before I get to the point where I respectfully disagree. I am also aware that I may be perceived to be towering over some matters and I endeavour to infuse some jovial comments, just to make things lighter. To compliment this approach, I continue to pursue the art of clarity of thought and communication so that I do not mince my words at the risk of watering down the end game…which is to use responsible endeavours to constructively influence decisions and perspectives!

There are many ways to skin a cat…your thoughts?

Thank you.