“ If it wasn’t for me or my intervention, you wouldn’t be where you are now. I made you”.
Ever heard yourself saying that or someone saying it to you?
What goes on in the minds of either actor in the above excerpt, irrespective of the truth or absence of it? Pomposity? Vulnerability? Both not places of comfort, I am afraid.
Most people who make this statement in my view, lack emotional and ethical intelligence and can pass for people who are insecure and are desperate to aggrandize themselves. Having the upper hand and wrecklessly wielding power over another is the worst kind of betrayal to ethical conduct.
For the receiver who feels trapped in a box with tape over their mouths, it is a feeling of helplessness because they still need the job and if massaging the ego of this person keeps them out of trouble and in the job, why not? Really? Genuine and authentic growth in a role and career are curtailed by the fear instilled in this actor. They always feel indebted, and all for the wrong reasons.
My advice… brevity, propriety and confidence. Never give away the credit that comes from your effort just to please someone else. Credit is honestly earned and is expressed with humility.
Those with the “ I made you” syndrome need treatment. Self awareness, monitoring, emotional intelligence and ethical intelligence are key antidotes for such ailments. Delusions of grandeur are diffused with reality checks and humility. Reduce those negative complexes and increase on building characteristics that will help bring out best versions of self.
Let’s work together to make ourselves and the world better!
Ever heard yourself saying that or someone saying it to you?
What goes on in the minds of either actor in the above excerpt, irrespective of the truth or absence of it? Pomposity? Vulnerability? Both not places of comfort, I am afraid.
Most people who make this statement in my view, lack emotional and ethical intelligence and can pass for people who are insecure and are desperate to aggrandize themselves. Having the upper hand and wrecklessly wielding power over another is the worst kind of betrayal to ethical conduct.
For the receiver who feels trapped in a box with tape over their mouths, it is a feeling of helplessness because they still need the job and if massaging the ego of this person keeps them out of trouble and in the job, why not? Really? Genuine and authentic growth in a role and career are curtailed by the fear instilled in this actor. They always feel indebted, and all for the wrong reasons.
My advice… brevity, propriety and confidence. Never give away the credit that comes from your effort just to please someone else. Credit is honestly earned and is expressed with humility.
Those with the “ I made you” syndrome need treatment. Self awareness, monitoring, emotional intelligence and ethical intelligence are key antidotes for such ailments. Delusions of grandeur are diffused with reality checks and humility. Reduce those negative complexes and increase on building characteristics that will help bring out best versions of self.
Let’s work together to make ourselves and the world better!